Finally, Let’s Get Honest About Our Biases

Bias (def); inclination or prejudice for or against one person or group, especially in a way considered to be unfair

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If you’ve come to these words from my March newsletter, I originally wasn’t going to write this article. I was going to link to another piece (written by someone else) but it didn’t quite say what I wanted to put across. So here I am sharing my thoughts about bias and what we need to do to overcome it.

I tend to go on about bias a lot, but that’s because I believe that not speaking about bias causes more harm than good. Navigating life pretending that we treat everyone equally and that our actions are always fair is simply not true. Even though most people are happy not to think about their biases, there are always the special few that are proud to treat people differently based on bias, which for clarification, is NOT what we should be doing!

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We all have biases. That’s the first thing that we need to accept. We are biased because our brains have so much information to sort through. It has to work quickly to find a shortcut to what it believes is the ‘right’ answer. You know, the brain is presented with scenario X, brain quickly recalls what has happened previously with scenario X and comes to a conclusion. Person X is a big black man; society and the media have said that big black men are aggressive, so if I interact with Person X, the outcome will be negative.

Or another scenario could be, Person X is a slim, light-skinned, well-spoken female. Society tells us that these are positives, so this person must be a good person - even though I don’t know her, she must be nice. Say hello to Beauty Bias.

All of this happens because our brain will try to protect us, to keep us safe. To make the right decision to get closer to things that are better for us and learn to keep the scary stuff far from reach. All the information that our brains have been exposed to via our friends and family, through our experiences, society and the media, gets stored to be recalled later, like a giant filing cabinet.

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Our biases cause us to see someone as more attractive or threatening, intelligent or less capable. And these biases cause our brains to make quick-fire assumptions and stereotypes about people, which inevitably turn out to be incorrect. You might make assumptions about me based on how I look or speak, and of course, some of what you assume might be true, but an awful lot won’t be. I don’t fit into a stereotype, and neither will you.

I remember being at a work pub quiz (oh, the joy of forced work socialising), and one of the team members looked at me like I was an alien because I got a question right about the band Metallica. She knew nothing about me, but she looked so surprised when I, the only black person on the team, got the question right about rock music. I can only assume that she thought the only questions I should have been answering were ones related to Destiny’s Child. Don’t assume that I only listen to music that is predominantly a part of black culture. I love rock as much as I love hip-hop. You see, our biases lead us to stereotype people and try to put them in a box.

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And bias is flipping complicated. Our biases can assume that we are all the same. Think about medical equipment or medical processes that have the assumption that our bodies have the same response to illness no matter what gender or ethnicity. But bias can also make us think that there are huge differences between us based on how we look when in fact, there are likely to be more commonalities than we think.

The point of this piece isn’t to say that I don’t have any biases, that I’m so great, blah blah blah. Absolutely not. Everyone has biases, including me, but I know how to look out for them. I know that they can affect how I interact with others, how I interpret the actions of others, and even how I view the news.

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So to help, here’s what we can do. First, we need to be honest. Yes, it can feel horrible thinking about our negative thoughts and behaviour, especially when we realise that we have often treated people differently based on incorrect assumptions. If you’re unsure where to start, Harvard Project Implicit has created an anonymous test where you get an idea of who you may be biased against.

You don’t have to start putting your biases on a t-shirt; just be aware of them and where those assumptions come from. The views of your family, friends, society, the media…but now we know it’s because our brain is working too fast; we need to slow things down. Put a little ‘pause’ in our thoughts. Ask ourselves why do we think this. Ask what evidence we have. Ask what information is missing.

So now you know who you may be biased towards and why, you can move towards those biases. By that, I mean getting to know people you are biased against. Make a deliberate attempt to catch your negative thoughts about people and go out of your way to put yourself in situations where you can start to interact. Talking to people and getting to know them builds empathy. It’s how we connect.

Overcoming our biases is not about saying that everyone is great. Let’s be realistic. You can’t like everyone - that’s just not possible. But overcoming our biases is about understanding when you treat people better or worse based on assumptions. If you don’t get on with someone, that’s fine - as long as you’re not letting your bias get in the way.